THE
NEW CREATION
<PAGE 485>
STUDY
XII
MARITAL
AND OTHER PRIVILEGES AND
OBLIGATIONS OF THE NEW CREATION
Various Obligations of the New Creature--"All One in Christ
Jesus"-- Promiscuous Association not Implied--Man and Woman
in the Divine Order--Man's Headship not Tyranny--Marriage of
New Creation-- Advice to the New Creatures in the Varied Conditions
of Marital Union--In the Event of Desertion--Conscience the
Final Test--Eunuchs, Virgins, Celibacy--"Only in the Lord"--Parental
Responsibilities.
"There
is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there
is neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus;
[for] as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put
on Christ." `Gal. 3:27,28`
THE
New Creature consists at first of merely a newly begotten will,
which has the promise of a new, perfect, spiritual body in the
resurrection if it shall prove loyal to its covenant obligations
to the Lord. Its Law of Love obligates it first of all to God,
and signifies very hearty obedience to the divine will in all
things. Its second obligation is toward its brethren of the New
Creation, to do them good. Its third obligation is to do good
to all men as it may have opportunity, and as the first two obligations
may permit. Although the New Creature, the new will, has not its
own proper body through which to operate and exercise itself,
it is not without a body, for, as the successor to the will of
the flesh and the natural mind, it enjoys, as part of its assets,
both the privileges and obligations of the natural body, in which
it must temporarily reside, and through which alone it can find
expression.
Even
if the human body were perfect in every particular the new will
would experience difficulties in connection with its use, because
it is of the earth, earthy. It is adapted to earthly conditions,
and its ambitions and desires are
<PAGE 486> earthly, however pure and noble
they may be; while the ambitions and desires of the new will are
heaven-inspired by the exceeding great and precious promises of
the divine message. This was exactly the case with our Lord Jesus,
whose body was "holy, harmless, undefiled, and separate from
sinners." He nevertheless, according to his covenant, and
according to the conditions in which that new nature would thrive
and be ready for the new body in the resurrection, was obliged
to crucify the flesh--to cross it, to devote it, to submit and
subject it to his new will. Even its proper, natural tastes, preferences
and desires must be sacrificed, whenever they came in conflict
with the Father's will, the Father's arrangement, the Father's
providential leadings; and these included the sacrifice of the
flesh, even unto death, as necessary to the full adoption of the
New Creature and his glorification on the divine plane.
The
under-members of the New Creation, the Royal Priesthood, having
imperfect bodies, whose sacrifice would not be acceptable to God
because blemished, sinful, imperfect, need first of all to be
justified by the sacrifice of their Lord Jesus. By the merit of
his atonement the sins and imperfections of their mortal bodies
are covered, and no longer imputed, and thus in a reckoned sense
their bodies are made acceptable as sacrifices. The Apostle declares
this justification saying: "I beseech you therefore,
brethren, by the mercies of God [in the covering of your sins
through faith in Christ] that you present your bodies living sacrifices,
holy, acceptable to God, your reasonable service."
`Rom. 12:1`
It
was when this sacrifice of our reckonedly justified flesh
took place that we individually were begotten of the Spirit to
be sons of God--sons on the spiritual plane, instead of on the
human plane. There it was that the consecrated will was
accepted as the New Creature and began its existence, which must
prosper in proportion as it remains loyal to God and to the covenant
of sacrificing the mortal body and its interests. The mortal body
thus sacrificed and reckoned
<PAGE 487> dead with Christ is to be so "quickened,"
or energized, by the new will (the New Creature), so controlled
by it, that the remainder of life is spoken of as figuratively
a resurrection life. The New Creature, the new will, acting in
and through these mortal bodies, is declared figuratively to be
risen with Christ, and living for, seeking, those things which
are above. `Col. 3:1`
The
Apostle refers to this newness of life, or figurative resurrection,
in which the new will uses the mortal body in the divine service,
saying, "If the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the
dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall
also quicken [energize] your mortal bodies by his Spirit which
dwelleth in you." (`Rom. 8:11`)
To the extent, therefore, that the new will thus gains control
of our mortal bodies, and uses them in the present life as the
best and only substitute it has for the spiritual body, not obtainable
before the resurrection--to this extent it might not be improper
to consider the mortal bodies of the New Creation temporary substitutes
for the spiritual bodies waited for.
But
all this matter of reckoning is spiritual, and is understood
and appreciated only by such as are begotten of the Spirit, and
who thus are enabled to view matters from the divine standpoint.
From the world's standpoint all this is untrue, unreal--"foolishness."
They see a difference in the aim, ambition and conduct, but they
know not how to interpret it. They are apt to consider it a fad,
or a mania, or a "holier-than-thou" attitude, or hypocrisy.
We cannot deny that to all appearances there are these various
counterfeits of the New Creature--tares, having an outward resemblance
to wheat, but different at the heart. The New Creature is not
to be surprised or disappointed that he is not understood by the
world; but is to remember the divine counsel that the world knoweth
us not, even as it knew not our Lord. It is a test of our fidelity
to God that to follow the footsteps of Jesus we must be disesteemed
by those whom we love, and whose esteem it is not unreasonable
to desire.
<PAGE 488> The fact that the friendship of
the world and its esteem mean enmity toward God and disloyalty
to the consecration covenant must settle the matter with the New
Creatures.
"To my Lord I must be true,
Who bought me with his blood."
Our
present investigation relates to the proper course of conduct
of these New Creatures, these new wills, operating in and through
these consecrated bodies, which have certain relationships to
other human beings and certain responsibilities, therefore, toward
them, according to the flesh. It is the will of God that the New
Creature shall respect these obligations of his mortal flesh in
all matters of justice--in honesty, in duty, in responsibilities
properly devolving upon his mortal flesh. Under present conditions,
therefore, the New Creature cannot in all matters do as it would
prefer, but must in certain affairs be governed by the obligations
of the flesh, because the divine injunction is to "provide
things honest in the sight of all men"; and further "He
that provideth not for his own hath denied the faith and is worse
than an unbeliever." `Rom. 12:17`;
`1 Tim. 5:8`
In
view of these facts it will be readily seen that the new will
has an arduous task before it: (1) To please God in the accomplishment
of the sacrifice of the flesh; (2) to discern distinctly which
appetites and demands of the fleshly relationship should be considered
and allowance made for them; (3) to what extent these demands
and concessions may properly be made without infringing upon and
invalidating the covenant--which is unto life or unto death--
"For if we live after the flesh we shall die; but if through
the Spirit we do mortify [kill] the flesh we shall live"--eventually
attain perfection in the resurrection. Here arises another difficulty.
The flesh does not voluntarily die: it must be put to death by
the will, the mind, the New Creature; and so, finding that there
are certain allowances to be made, according to the will of God,
the flesh is very apt to take advantage of these allowances, and
to claim not only greater allowance than the "things needful,"
but also liberties
<PAGE 489> and rights along lines which are
not obligations, and which would be interferences with the covenanted
sacrifice.
These
endeavors of our mortal bodies, sometimes to excuse sin and sometimes
to avoid sacrifice, cause the New Creature frequent perplexity,
and not infrequently temporary stumbling; until gradually he learns
more and more of the deceptiveness of his own flesh and of its
weaknesses, and gradually grows in grace and in the wisdom which
comes from above, and obtains more and more of a mastery in keeping
the body "under"--in subjection to the new mind.
(`1 Cor. 9:27`) Thus, by bitter experience
often, the New Creature learns to appreciate the declaration of
the Lord's Word, that the natural heart, the will of the flesh,
although slain, and not in any sense of the word in control, is
"deceitful above all things" and, sometimes,
"desperately wicked," and desperately in earnest in
its endeavor to overthrow the rule of the new will, and thus to
destroy the New Creature-- to the intent that the old creature
may revive, and walk after the flesh, and not after the Spirit.
Promiscuous
Association Not Implied
The
Lord clearly teaches us, through the Apostle, that his preferences
and favors are alike to all the New Creatures-- according to their
zeal, according to their love for him and the principles represented
in him; and that conditions of sex, race, color, etc., of the
mortal body have no bearing with him in his judgment of his people,
in his estimation of them, and in the distribution of the final
rewards. Knowing the Father's view of this matter, all of the
New Creation must take a similar view of it, must esteem all New
Creatures in Christ Jesus as "brethren," must be kindly
affectioned toward all, must seek to serve all, must know no partiality
amongst the brethren, except such as the Lord himself showed--in
that he favored and honored those who showed the largest measure
of zeal for his cause. But all this impartiality, this ignoring
of sex, color, race, etc., belongs to us as the New Creation,
and only partially affects our mortal bodies, and their relationship
with each other and with
<PAGE 490> the world. Hence, the proprieties
of conduct and relationship between the sexes must be maintained
by the New Creation.
These,
indeed, should have a larger degree of wisdom and prudence than
the world, by reason of their being begotten to the spirit of
a sound mind. They accordingly should realize that as a New Creation,
seeking to walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit, it would
be appropriate for them to be even more careful than the worldly,
the natural man, respecting the weakness of their flesh and respecting
the propriety of certain metes and bounds of proper conduct, modesty,
reserve, etc., as between the sexes. In proportion as the New
Creature is seeking the spiritual life, and in proportion as it
realizes that sexual appetites war against the interests of the
New Creation, in that same proportion should they endeavor, even
more than the world in general, to make straight paths for their
feet, and to erect as many barriers and as formidable ones as
possible between themselves and temptations.
The
same argument applies to racial distinctions. There is a relationship
of the Spirit and a unity of the Spirit which is totally different
from a relationship and a unity in the flesh. The interests of
the New Creation will, we believe, be generally conserved by the
preservation of a measure of separation in the flesh, because
the ideals, tastes, appetites, dispositions, etc., of one race
necessarily are more or less in conflict with the ideals, etc.,
of another; hence, the several races of humanity will probably
find their spiritual interests as New Creatures best conserved
by a measure of separateness. There will be no difficulty along
these lines if the distinction between the New Creatures and the
fleshly bodies is clearly discerned. As the Apostle's words at
the beginning of this chapter would give no excuse for a common
herding together of males and females, because they are "all
one" brotherhood in Christ Jesus, so neither should they
be understood to imply anything promiscuous as between different
races. It does, however, set for us the standard of spiritual
appreciation and relationship, and of
<PAGE 491> obligation to each and to all in
matters both spiritual and temporal.
Man
and Woman in the Divine Order
The
Apostle declares that "the head of every man is Christ, and
the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God."
(`1 Cor. 11:3`) This is the uniform
teaching of the Scriptures. As the Apostle shows, the headship
of the man was indicated to be the divine intention in the creation
of the man first and of the woman subsequently, as a separated
part of him. The Apostle is discussing this very subject, and
his words are, "He [man] is the image and glory of God; but
the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman;
but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the
woman [to be her helpmate], but the woman for the man [to be his
helpmate]. For this cause ought the woman to put a sign of authority
on her head." `1 Cor. 11:7-12`
It
will be observed that this is not an argument as to the relationship
existing by contract between husbands and wives, but a still broader
one, based upon the relationship of the sexes according to the
order of divine creation and intention. There is no suggestion
in anything the Apostle says here, or that the Scriptures anywhere
enjoin, to the effect that man is a master and woman his slave,
which seems to be the mistaken thought sometimes entertained;
but never, we believe, by those who have "the mind of Christ."
In the divine arrangement the family is the unit in the present
time, and every man coming of age is privileged to institute a
family, of which he should be the responsible head and representative
before God and men.
Man's
Headship Not a Tyranny
That
headship does not imply tyranny is evident from the Apostle's
declaration that Christ is the Head of the Church, the Head of
the man; and his further declaration that God, the Father, is
the Head over Christ. We find no tyranny either in the Son's relationship
toward the Church
<PAGE 492> nor in the Father's relationship
toward the Son. The position of head, however, does imply a responsibility,
a charge, a care, a provision. Thus the Heavenly Father made provision
for the Son, and a glorious provision it was. True, the carrying
out of the divine plan involved suffering and sacrifice on the
part of the Son; yet the loving Father made the plan no more severe,
no more crucial, than was necessary in the execution of his great
and wonderful purpose, in which the Son, now highly exalted far
above principalities and powers and every name that is named,
is so honorable a sharer. The Son rejoiced in the privilege he
enjoyed of rendering sacrifice and obedience to the Father's plan,
and he rejoices also in the glories into which he has entered,
and in those to come. So with the headship of the Lord Jesus over
the Church. So far from his headship signifying to us tyranny,
it is the synonym of love and care and helpfulness to all the
members of the New Creation. Similarly, the headship of the husband
over the wife and children signifies a responsibility, a special
care, as provider, foreseer, arranger, protector, guide, example.
Oh, that all fathers might properly see their duties, their responsibilities,
their privileges by nature, under the divine arrangement; and
that seeing these they might use and not abuse them!
When
we read in Genesis, as a part of the curse or sentence upon mother
Eve, and indirectly upon all of her daughters, the words, "Thou
shalt have desire unto thy husband, and he shall rule over thee,"
and then look to see how this rule has been exercised throughout
the world, we find that in many instances it has been a rule of
tyranny, and that the strength of mind and of nature of the fallen
man has not infrequently been exercised to the injury, instead
of to the comfort and advantage of the wife and children. All
good, noble men and women must deprecate such a condition of things;
nor can we suppose that such an abuse of power is anything but
offensive and ignominious in the sight of the Creator.
The
misuse of physical and mental strength on the part of some husbands
and fathers has undoubtedly reacted to
<PAGE 493> their own unhappiness and to the
general degradation of the race; for though woman is by nature
inclined to look to a head and to seek and obey what she recognizes
to be a righteous authority ("a desire unto her husband"),
yet the abuses of the headship and the bad examples set one another
have to a considerable extent turned aside what was, and still
is, the substratum of woman's natural disposition. Compelled by
necessity to defend herself against unreasonable demands of selfishness
and tyranny, the general result has been demoralizing to the whole
race; so that while the natural and the Scriptural order is very
generally recognized, neither men nor women in general know how
to adapt themselves to the present disordered and disarranged
condition of social affairs.
As
a consequence we frequently find the fallen men striving for a
mastery and a headship for which they are quite incompetent, in
order that they may abuse it for selfish interests; at the same
time failing to recognize and esteem his proper authority and
responsibility as the protector of the family. We see woman, also
depraved and selfish, disposed not only to rebel against an unreasonable
and improper headship, but even to dispute any and every proposition,
and to haggle and quarrel over it; and while not claiming to be
the provider for the family, nevertheless attempting, directly
or indirectly, to usurp the authority of the head of the home,
to take and to hold the control of the purse and of the family.
Wherever these conditions prevail, being contrary to the divine
intention and arrangement, they bring forth more or less bitter
fruitage sooner or later--however wise or necessary they may at
the time appear. The peaceable fruits of righteousness are only
to be expected in following the divine natural order. It may be
argued that, in the present condition of matters, trouble of this
kind is unavoidable; that selfish men will overstep the bounds
of the divine order and intention, and that selfish women will
do the same; that, consequently, the peace and order and blessing
designed for the perfect man can never be realized by his fallen
children, and that the only remedy in sight for
<PAGE 494> present family distresses through
Adam's fall and disregard of the divine plan, is restitution.
To this we assent, and join heartily in the Lord's prayer, "Thy
Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."
We
are not considering now the possibility of bringing order out
of disorder amongst humanity, but the proper arrangement and course
in life for the New Creation in relation to the home, the family,
etc.--and the duties of one to the other as husband and wife,
parents and children. We might, properly enough, consider this
subject under the head of duties and obligations of Christian
men and Christian women, were it not that the term Christian has
lost so much of its original meaning that now it is generally
understood to mean any individual neither a Jew nor a heathen.
Strictly speaking, the word Christian, signifying a believer in
and a follower of Jesus of Nazareth, is applicable only to the
New Creation. It is because the deflection is so common, so general,
that we are particular to differentiate the truly consecrated
believers as the New Creation.
The
Apostle distinctly points out that the marriage relationship amongst
mankind is intended under divine arrangement to be a figure or
illustration of the relationship between Christ and the Church,
his Bride--his body. The language is most explicit:
"Wives,
be in subjection to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of
the Church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the
Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own
husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ
also loved the Church, and gave himself for it; that he might
sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water by the
Word, that he might present it to himself a glorious Church, not
having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should
be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love
their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth
and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church: because we are
members of his body. For this cause shall a man leave his father
and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall
be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I
<PAGE 495> speak concerning Christ and the
Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love
his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence
her husband." `Eph. 5:22-33`
The
fact that typical unions are generally so imperfect and so unsatisfactory
does not annul the thought that marriage was intended as a type,
even as many of the sacrifices of the Israelites were imperfect
and unsatisfactory, but, nevertheless, constituted types of the
true sacrifice. The New Creation should esteem the typical, earthly
marriage and its proper duties and responsibilities much more
highly because of their appreciation of the antitypical union
between Christ and his Church. Thus considered, every Christian
man finds the grandest possible exemplification of his duties
and responsibilities to his wife in the Lord's care for the Church
and her every interest, temporal, spiritual, present and future,
to the extent of his sacrifice of life on her behalf. Likewise
the wife, as she appreciates the duties and responsibilities of
the Church to the Lord, discerns a higher ideal of a wife's duty
and relationship toward her husband as his helpmate. But we must
not expect that these peculiar relationships and the proper application
of them can be discerned clearly except by those who have the
mind of Christ. Hence, while urging all who contract the marriage
relationship to realize as fully as possible the divine ideal,
we, nevertheless, note that none can grasp and appreciate and
apply all of the principles and ideals connected with this type
except those who have been begotten of the Spirit--the New Creation--because
these only have the mind of Christ.
It
may be urged that the individuals of the human race not having
all fallen to the same degree, it not infrequently happens that
the wife possesses superior qualities of mind and of heart to
those of her husband. The question then arises, Should they not
under such circumstances consider that such a wife, gifted with
superior talent, judgment and abilities, should be regarded as
the head of the family, and the husband as the helpmate? We answer,
No. The divine
<PAGE 496> order was disregarded in such a
marriage; for no woman should marry a man beneath her in character
and talents-- one whom she could not properly look up to as her
"head." And no man should marry a woman his superior.
Neither should one who has become a New Creature in Christ Jesus
become unequally yoked with one who is still of the earth, earthy--no
matter how noble and honorable the person may be. That the New
Creature should marry "only in the Lord" is advice
which should not be ignored, and its disregard has brought serious
difficulties upon many of the Lord's people.
Marriage
of New Creatures
However,
when once the marital relationship has been entered into it is
too late for regrets, and nothing remains to the child of God
except to carry out the marriage covenant implicitly, in letter
and in spirit, to the extent of his or her ability. If both are
New Creatures, and the mating be a proper one, there should be
no difficulty on either side in deciding as to the proper arrangements
and regulations of the home: nevertheless, compatibility of natural
disposition and tastes should also be carefully considered. The
true Christian husband, having the mind of Christ, will love his
wife, will remember that he has covenanted to cherish her, to
care for her, to provide for her not only as respects physical
necessities, but also as respects the nourishing of her heart
and affections. Such a husband will not feel that he has discharged
his duty in providing merely the necessities and comforts of food
and clothing and shelter, but will realize an obligation to his
wife to consider her mental, moral and spiritual interests as
well. He will not be satisfied that her time be entirely absorbed
in family duties and cares, but will, to the extent of his ability,
seek the cultivation of her mind, her heart--using his headship
in the family in so arranging its affairs that she will have reasonable
time for spiritual fellowship and the study of the Truth. Such
a husband will not forget that, like all the remainder of the
human family, selfishness is more or less intrenched
<PAGE 497> in his mortal flesh, and as a New
Creature he will be on guard that this disposition shall not work
hardship or injury to others--especially to his wife and his children,
who are flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone.
Headship
in the family, thus exercised in promoting the welfare of those
under its care in guiding, counseling, etc., as well as in providing
things needful for them, will be far from tyranny. Nor will the
spirit of love in such a husband ignore the likes and dislikes
of his wife and her properly given advice. He will recognize the
fact that while the perfect Adam possessed all the qualities of
manhood, the separation of Eve implied the separation of some
of these qualities: he will recognize, too, that although the
strength of mind and of body by divine arrangement abides with,
and constitutes man the head of the family, nevertheless there
are qualities of character specially possessed by the woman. The
humility which belongs to the spirit of love will hinder him from
being blind to the estimable qualities which the Creator apportions
to the female, and he will recognize that his own qualities of
heart and head need to be supplemented by the other qualities
which by nature specially reside in the woman. He will, therefore,
in proportion as he has "the spirit of a sound mind,"
desire the help of his wife, her cooperation, her views,
her sympathy, her love, and will appreciate them highly.
This
does not mean that seeking the wife's counsel means in all cases
obedience to her views: it is for the husband to weigh, to consider,
to balance, to decide--giving proper, reasonable, benevolent interpretation
to his wife's sentiments. The responsibility of headship is upon
the husband, and he must not avoid it. It is of divine imposition,
a part of his stewardship, for which he will be called upon eventually
to give an account.
Likewise
the wife who is a New Creature and who has married "in the
Lord," and, having exercised proper discretion, is well mated,
should have little difficulty in recognizing the duties and responsibilities
and privileges of her position according to the flesh. "Let
the wife see that she reverence
<PAGE 498> her husband," says the Apostle.
She is not to wait for outsiders to admonish her that she is deficient
in wifely respect toward her husband, nor to wait for her husband
to indicate that he thinks she is not treating him with the respect
due him according to the marriage covenant and according to the
Scriptural delineations of a wife's duty. On the contrary, in
looking about her to see what are the responsibilities and duties
of a wife, let her see that she reverence her husband and realize
that nothing short of this is the meaning of her marriage vow
according to the Scriptures --whatever it may mean according to
the world and various human conceptions. Reverence toward the
husband means much, and really enters into all of life's affairs,
and touches and influences every act and word and thought respecting
the home and its interests.
The
Apostle Peter calls attention to this same matter in somewhat
similar language, saying, "Wives, be in subjection to your
own husbands;...of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight
of God of great price. After this same manner in olden time the
holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being
in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sarah obeyed Abraham,
calling him lord." (`1 Pet. 3:1-6`)
As the man who honors his wife honors himself, so the woman who
reverences her husband honors herself. But this reverence of a
husband as the lord or master or head of the household does not
mean slavery, for the Church does not occupy toward the Lord a
slavish position, nor exercise a slavish fear, but a reverence
of love, of devotion--and this is the example.
This
reverence for the husband does not imply that the wife should
not exercise her judgment and bring to her husband's attention
trials or difficulties or burdens too heavy for her, etc., but
her presentation of her views, her hopes and desires should not
be in a mandatory manner, but in a deferential way, which would
recognize the headship of her husband and seek to be happy and
contented with his decisions after having presented to him her
thoughts on subjects of mutual interest. She should seek to be
so considerate, so
<PAGE 499> wise in the management of such
of the household affairs as the husband would intrust to her,
that she would earn more and more of his confidence, and be able
more and more to fulfil in the home, whether large or small, the
important duties of a helpmate. The thought that she is a helper,
and her desire for her husband's approval, will be seen to be
in strict harmony with the Apostle's suggestion respecting the
Church's proper attitude toward the Lord, in faithfulness, and
desire for his approval. But as in the Church it would be a crime
to ignore the Head, the Lord, in any measure in connection with
the work and its interests, so the wife should feel that her course
would be criminal and in violation of her covenant were she to
attempt to regulate the earthly home, and to any extent ignore
the one whom she has vowed to reverence as the head of the family.
In
the case of two New Creatures not well mated--where the wife is
evidently the superior--there is danger of difficulty in adjusting
affairs. If the wife has better judgment in respect to the guidance
of the home, in respect to the spending of money, in respect to
the training of the children, etc., she is not, therefore, at
liberty to assume the headship of the family and to order and
direct her husband as though he were one of her children or a
servant. Such a violation of the divine arrangement is sure to
work disadvantage spiritually, if not financially and in temporal
matters, not only to the man but also to the woman.
The
man under such conditions would gradually lose what little manhood
he possessed, gradually drop everything into the hands of his
wife, and become merely her tool, her slave, to provide the living
and keep her commandments. Such a condition would not be advantageous
to the husband as a New Creature; such a degradation of his flesh
would surely react unfavorably upon him, dispirit him and hinder
his growth in grace, in knowledge and in the service of the Truth.
On the wife also the effect would prove injurious to the extent
that the wrong course is followed --much or little. If the case
be an extreme one the wife--as her husband gradually lets fall
upon her, or as she
<PAGE 500> gradually takes out of his hands,
the responsibilities of a husband--feels the weight of this upon
her in addition to her motherly duties; and in her attempt to
be both husband and wife, both father and mother, she is sure
to become more or less of a "business woman," more or
less heady and self-conscious. Her friends may admire the strength
of character which she displays, and may consider that the course
she takes is unavoidable--they may even encourage her and hold
her up as a commendable example of a strong-minded woman; but
none of them will love her as they would have loved her
had she developed along the lines of true womanhood and true wifehood.
Moreover, the qualities of the flesh cultivated by such a course
would react unfavorably upon her as a New Creature in Christ,
and, unwittingly, she would become less spiritual and more self-conscious
in things pertaining to the Church.
The
proper course to take in such a case of mismating between New
Creatures is for the husband to say to himself: I have taken a
wife contrary to divine arrangement. I have thus run a great risk
of domestic infelicity. My only course, now, is to strive to the
best of my ability to reach up to my highest ideal of a true husband--to
pattern as much as possible after the Lord's example. I will need
to be all the more careful of my every word and act--to seek all
the more earnestly the wisdom which cometh from above, that I
may the more nearly accomplish the duties of the head of this
household, for which I realize I am not naturally qualified.
The
wife in such a case should say to herself: I have neglected the
Lord's divine regulation and am mismated in that I cannot reverence
my husband, but instinctively realize that I am his superior in
natural endowment. I must make the best of the matter. I must
do my part faithfully; and in proportion as I find my husband
deficient, I will seek to use tact and pray for wisdom from on
high to know how to help him, to lift him up, to make of
him a noble man, and to enlarge his capacity as much as possible,
that I may thus increase my love and reverence for him. Nothing
short of
<PAGE 501> this is my duty under my marriage
covenant--it shall be faithfully done as unto the Lord. As for
his weaknesses and poor judgment, not only will I hide these from
outsiders, but so far as possible I will hide them from myself;
and in mentioning them to my husband I will seek to avoid any
reference to or display of my superior abilities. I will expect
that in due time his own failures will commend to him my better
judgment, which, however, I will not press upon him nor insist
upon, but simply state in a kindly manner appropriate to a helpmate.
My expectation will be that ere long he will seek my counsel and
give it more and more weight in all his affairs of life, and thus
day by day and year by year we may grow up together in harmony
with the divine pattern of the relationship between Christ and
the Church. I will be blessed as the wife in the cultivation of
humility and submission to the divine arrangement: my husband
will be blessed by the uplifting influences which I will be enabled
to bring to him, and thus the mismating which at first seemed
so disadvantageous, may, by the Lord's grace--following the instructions
of his Word--result in bringing us both nearer to the divine standard
as set forth by the Apostle.
A
still different case from the above may be suggested as possible,
namely, that two New Creatures, well mated according to the flesh,
might after years of fellowship and helpfulness become mismated.
Such a conclusion to such a favorable beginning would imply that
one or the other had lost the holy spirit of love--if not entirely,
at least to a very great extent; that one or the other had neglected
the apostolic injunction and the entire divine regulation of the
duties of husbands toward wives and wives toward husbands. If
the fault should be with the husband and he should cease to provide
for the wife, cease to cherish her, and, on the contrary, should
desert her either in heart or affection or actually, it would
imply that he had seriously departed from the Lord, and from the
guidance of his Spirit, and from "the wisdom that cometh
from above, which is
<PAGE 502> first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits."
Under such circumstances we could not consider such an one approved
of the Lord as an "overcomer" until after reformation.
Or
the difficulty might be with the wife. She might become heady,
highminded, self-opinionated and gradually lose her reverence
for her husband--might even misrepresent him and desert him and
say all manner of evil against him falsely. Such a condition of
things would indicate a very wrong condition of heart, very far
removed from that inculcated by the Word and would surely imply
spiritual degeneracy, no matter to what degree an outward form
of godliness might be maintained. Such an one would surely be
in a poor condition to appear before the Heavenly Bridegroom with
any hope of his approval; for such a course toward the earthly
bridegroom would certainly signify a small appreciation of the
duties of the Church toward her Lord. If unfaithful to the earthly
husband whom she has seen, it would certainly argue and imply
unfaithfulness to the unseen Heavenly Bridegroom.
The
earthly relationship as husband or wife between a New Creature
and one who is not a New Creature is to some a matter of great
perplexity, and there are many in this condition. Where the two
are well mated according to the flesh the problem is difficult
enough; but where they are mismated both physically and spiritually,
the difficulties are multiplied. If the husband is of the New
Creation and the wife has the spirit of the world, his true religion
and the "spirit of a sound mind" which it gradually
gives on all subjects, and the moderation which it inculcates
in all affairs, should gradually lift him higher and higher in
the esteem of his worldly wife, provided she has a naturally noble
character and amiable disposition. His considerate treatment,
the full liberty of conscience which he would willingly accord
her, and his own devotion to principle, would all tend to make
such a union a happy one, except that the husband would lack in
his wife that spiritual fellowship which as a New Creature he
must appreciate higher than all other fellowships.
<PAGE 503> But his prayers on behalf of such
a noble-minded woman, his example, and his considerate presentation
of the Truth will, in all probability, win such a wife to the
Lord and make of her a spiritual, as well as a natural helpmate.
Thus his patience and faithfulness to his marital obligations
might bring a grand recompense while her faithfulness to principle
would equally bring blessing and happiness to her life.
If
the wife be a member of the New Creation and the husband have
the spirit of the world, and they be well mated, the problem will
similarly be comparatively easy of solution. The noble-minded
husband, even though worldly, will recognize the conscience of
his wife in its moderate exercise; and his desire to provide for
her mental and moral and spiritual opportunities, as would be
his duty as a husband, would give to her all that she could desire
as a wife except the desire for spiritual companionship in her
husband. To such a noble-minded man as we are discussing, his
wife's faithfulness to the Lord, and to himself in all of life's
duties, might eventually be blessed by bringing about the husband's
consecration to the Lord. The wife might have good desires and
ambitions in respect to temporal or even to religious matters
which her husband might not be able to appreciate, however noble
a natural man he might be. In such case she should consider the
counsel of the Lord to his people, to be moderate in all
things; she should consider her husband's general liberality,
and while not compromising any matter of conscience or principle,
she should remember that amongst her wifely duties, recognized
by the Lord, is one requiring her to give her husband a measure
of her companionship. This might, not improperly, hinder her from
attending some of the meetings of the Church; but she should
beware lest in her desire to please her husband she should violate
her conscience and hinder her responsibilities and obedience to
the Lord, her Heavenly Bridegroom. She should remember his injunction
that we should not forget the assembling of ourselves together.
All we are urging here is that she exercise moderation, consideration
<PAGE 504> for her husband, etc., so that
she might divide the time to some extent with him, giving him
a reasonable share of her company.
Where
the two are unequally yoked--one an unbeliever and the other a
New Creature--and where, additionally, they are mismated according
to the flesh, so that the wife is the superior and the husband
the inferior intellectually, etc.--the case is much more complicated
and requires increased wisdom and grace on the part of the believer.
The Apostle specially admonishes those who are so situated, saying:
"The woman which hath an unbelieving husband and he be content
to dwell with her, let her not leave him. ...But if the unbelieving
depart, let him depart: the brother or sister is not under bondage
in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For how knowest
thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest
thou, O husband, whether thou shalt save thy wife?" `1
Cor. 7:13-16`
The
one point made clear respecting the duty of the believer is that
he shall do his duty, and seek in every honorable, proper
manner to conserve the peace of the household and its general
welfare, making as few points of contention as proper devotion
to principle and conscience will permit. If there be real cause
for separation, the believer must see to it that the cause
is not in him. The Spirit of Christ in him is to make him more
gentle, more humble, more peaceable, more prudent, more wise,
more long-suffering, more patient, more loving and more kind day
by day. All this, however, will not in every case meet the requirements
of the situation. Sometimes the unbeliever is possessed of so
mean a natural disposition, and gives way to it to such an extent
as to be thoroughly irascible; and as the gracious dealings of
God toward Pharaoh only tended to harden his heart, so the Spirit
of God in his children, shining out to the very best of their
ability in all the graces and fruits of that Spirit, may sometimes
meet only with that hatred which the darkness has for the light,
and to which our Lord referred saying, "the darkness hateth
the light because it is reproved by it."
<PAGE 505> (`John 3:19,20`)
In such cases separation may follow, as the Apostle points out,
whether accompanied by a decree of divorce from earthly courts
or not. In any event, however, the New Creature is not at liberty
to remarry unless the divorce be granted, and that on the one
ground mentioned by our Lord--adulterous unfaithfulness of the
mate. `Matt. 19:9`
In
the text quoted above, the Apostle declares, "If the unbelieving
[one] depart, let him depart"; but this is not to be understood
to signify that desertion by a mate would grant liberty either
to a husband or a wife to marry another: it merely indicates that
such a desertion should be viewed by the believer as one of the
circumstances of life permitted by divine providence, which God
is abundantly able to overrule for his welfare--and accepting
it as such, corresponding opportunities for usefulness in the
Lord's service should be expected. Although the Apostle points
out very expressly that the believer shall not be the deserter,
we believe that human courts have wisely understood and interpreted
in deciding that there is such a thing as "constructive
desertion" --namely, that a mate may desert his partner in
life most thoroughly without their absolutely parting company.
The unbelieving wife might exercise, and in some instances has
exercised, so many petty tyrannies in the home as to destroy all
of its homelike qualities, to make it a veritable purgatory, destroying
her husband's religious literature and striving to make it impossible
for him to read or study or think, by reason of the commotion
purposely instigated amongst the children, swayed by her to disregard
their father's word and counsel and to treat him with indignity.
Such
a woman may not desert her husband actually, but with a meaner
spirit may prefer to use him as her slave-- that by his energy
she may enjoy life's comforts. Human laws have construed such
a course to be desertion--desertion of the marriage covenant and
obligations and of the proper and reasonable duties of life. Such
an one becomes a hinderer and injurer instead of a helpmate. In
such a case we believe a husband thoroughly justified in considering
<PAGE 506> himself deserted, and in
taking up a separate home to which he could take such of the children
as had not been thoroughly poisoned by the mother's wrong course.
His obligations toward such a wife have already been terminated
by her course: it is she that has deserted and broken the marriage
contract; and in withdrawing her support he is merely acceding
to the demands of her course. If, however, she is repentant at
any time, he should be generous to a fault in forgiving her and
in re-establishing upon a proper basis the family arrangement.
Nothing in this advice should be understood to cultivate impatience
or a readiness to take offense and feel injured. Love demands
that all bearable treatment shall be borne; and that if
evil has been rendered for the evil, in word or deed, the wrong
shall be considered offset and condoned.
In
other cases the desertion may be on the part of the unbelieving
husband. The meanness of his depravity may make of him a brutal
tyrant, regardless of the health and happiness of his wife, and
especially hostile to her religious views. As we have already
pointed out, the believer is to seek and to attain the grace of
the spirit of love which will enable the endurance of practically
"all things," and to be profited thereby--to grow in
grace under such conditions; by cultivating the Spirit of the
Lord and its various graces. But there is a limit to all things,
and beyond that limit it would not be proper to go. Beyond that
limit the influence upon the unjust companion would be injurious
instead of helpful. Each must decide for himself what is the proper
limitation of submission in such matters. His own conscience must
decide, after that conscience has been educated by both the letter
and the spirit of the divine Word. As growth in grace is attained
the trials may become the more severe; but there should be the
larger capacity for endurance with meekness and the larger amount
of "the spirit of a sound mind" with which to determine
when the point of unendurable severity and injury has been reached.
Grace from on high is needed, is promised, and should be earnestly
sought under such conditions. `Jas. 1:5`
<PAGE 507>
There
are ignoble, brutish husbands who have no proper conception either
of a husband's duties or of a wife's proper liberties--whose only
conception of a wife is that of a drudging slave, better than
any he could hire, or that of a cheap substitute for a harlot.
Such treatment from a husband is a desertion on his part, and
the law of God as expounded here by the Apostle properly interpreted
is, we believe, fully in accord with human laws, which declare
that for such a man the name husband is a misnomer--that if he
ever did intelligently and really make a marriage contract with
his wife he has most thoroughly and decidedly broken it, and by
such treatment has most convincingly proved this. A wife so circumstanced
is at liberty to consider herself deserted and to make as much
better conditions for herself as she can; but she is not on this
account permitted, either by human or divine laws, to remarry.
In such a case she should look to the Lord either to mitigate
her condition, or, possibly, to open a way of escape from it.
She should take into consideration the ages of her children and
what provision could be made for them as well as for herself,
and should weigh the circumstances carefully and prayerfully before
taking the step. But if her conditions are endurable, let her
remain, as the Apostle says; and let her hope that in showing
forth the spirit of meekness, gentleness, patience, love, she
may win back again the heart of her spouse and possibly also win
him to the Lord.
We
have dealt with this subject at considerable length, realizing
from a wide private correspondence that very many of the Lord's
most faithful children live in a matrimonial furnace of affliction.
Under the terms of the call of the New Creation, none should expect
that the present life would be a smooth and pleasant dream of
earthly felicity, for our Lord specially declared of such, "A
man's foes shall be they of his own household." (`Matt.
10:36`) They should not be surprised to be called upon
to endure much for the Truth's sake, and thus to evidence to the
Lord their faithfulness to him and to his Word; their willingness
to endure all the fiery trials which he sees best they should
have for the
<PAGE 508> development in them of the graces
of the Spirit. They should realize, too, that they are not to
choose the kind of fiery trials that shall develop them and prepare
them and make them meet for the Kingdom, but are to leave the
entire matter in the hands of the Lord. It is our duty, however,
to point out to all such suffering ones that they, after reasonable
trial and development, should be on the lookout for divine deliverance
and the opening to them of a way of escape from things too difficult
for them to endure. This is in line with our Lord's admonition
and example: "When they persecute you in this city, flee
ye into another." `Matt. 10:23; 2:13;
4:12; 12:15`
Conscience,
the Final Test
We
have referred to conscience in connection with these matters,
and it may be appropriate here to call attention to what we mean
by that term. We mean conviction as to what is right, what is
duty. With the perfect man conscience would be an absolute guide
and he would know right and duty instinctively; but the six thousand
years of falling have brought our race to a condition in which
conscience is certainly out of order--perverted by wrong views.
The basis of Christian conscience is faith in God, and acceptance
of his will as being absolutely right, and acknowledgment of our
proper obligation to be thoroughly and heartily obedient to the
divine will. Conscience, therefore, needs just such education
as the Word of God affords, and the developed New Creature is
for this reason to have "the spirit of a sound mind"--his
conviction as to what is right and what is wrong expanding and
clarifying in proportion as he grows in grace and in knowledge
and in the spirit of love. To obey conscience is to do what he
believes the Lord would have him do; and he is not to jump to
a conclusion on this matter, but is to weigh carefully the testimony
of the divine Word and to decide accordingly. There are people
who permit fear and servility to dominate their conscience and
to vitiate it as a true monitor. A proper course for the Lord's
<PAGE 509> people is to guide their consciences--that
is, to guide their convictions as to what is right and what is
wrong by the Golden Rule and all the collateral instruction
which the Scriptures afford.
Eunuchs,
Virgins, Celibacy
The
questions of sexology are amongst those which certainly give the
New Creation considerable perplexity; and should, therefore, not
be ignored here. Those begotten of the Spirit to spiritual joys
and blessings, fellowship and communion, instinctively realize
that fleshly or carnal intercourse is not spiritually elevating,
but that its tendency is rather in the reverse direction. It is
well that all the unmarried of the Lord's consecrated ones should
weigh this subject thoroughly before entering the marriage relationship
and undertaking its responsibilities. The Lord seemed to refer
to the celibate state approvingly when he said, "Some are
born eunuchs, some are made eunuchs by men and some [figuratively]
have made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake."
(`Matt. 19:12`) That is, some by
the exercise of their wills, after their consecration to the Lord,
have determined not to marry but to maintain their virginity by
living celibate lives. The Lord himself was one of these, and
is surely our noblest example, in all of whose steps as closely
as possible we should follow. The Apostle urges this matter upon
our attention saying:
"Now
concerning virgins [males and females] I have no commandment of
the Lord, but I give my judgment as one that hath obtained mercy
of the Lord to be faithful. I think, therefore, that this is good
by reason of the present distress [that is to say, under present
conditions--our own imperfections and the imperfections of others
on the one hand, and the special duties, privileges and opportunities
of those who have made a full consecration to the Lord on the
other hand]--namely, that it is good for a man to be as he is
[to remain in the condition in which the Truth may find him, married
or single]. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to
<PAGE 510> be loosed. Art thou loosed from
a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not
sinned; and if a [female] virgin marry she hath not sinned.
"Nevertheless,
such [as are married] shall have tribulation in the flesh: and
I would spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short:
it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they
had none [ignoring earthly relationships as much as possible,
and setting the affections specially upon heavenly things]; and
they that weep [who are in earthly trouble] as though they wept
not [endeavoring to forget the trials and disappointments and
difficulties of the earthly state in the joy and rejoicing of
the better promises that are ours for the future]; and they that
rejoice [in earthly prosperity] as though they rejoiced not [their
rejoicing in spiritual things quite overshadowing all earthly
sources of joy]; and those that buy as though they possessed not
[not setting their affections upon the earthly things]; and they
that use this world as not misusing it [permitting moderation
and the interests of the New Nature to exercise a controlling
influence in all of life's affairs]; for the fashion of this world
passeth away [we are as New Creatures to live in accord with our
new hopes, and not to be continually making provision for the
flesh; but rather seeking at every cost to make our calling and
election sure and thus to be joint-heirs with our Lord in the
glorious dispensation and world to come].
"But
I would have you free from care [of an earthly kind; and hence,
in addition to the foregoing admonition of change of affections
and transformation of mind, I now call your attention to certain
unquestionable facts]. He [fully consecrated] that is unmarried
is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
but he that is married is careful of the things of the world,
how he may please his wife. [He will find himself in continual
danger of a division of his affections and a continual need to
be on his guard, lest the earthly affections shall absorb all
of his time and love and interest, and that to a violation of
his covenant with the Lord; and the interests of the Truth must
be
<PAGE 511> paramount if he would be an overcoming
disciple and a joint-heir in the Kingdom]. And there is [likewise]
a difference between [the condition of] a wife and a virgin. The
unmarried [fully consecrated] woman careth for the things of the
Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she
that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may
please her husband.
"And
this I say for your own profit [not as seeking to bring you under
bondage or in any manner to add to your burdens, but that you
who are unmarried may carefully weigh the matter and consider
your spiritual interests and the privileges you will be losing
by marrying]: not that I would cast a snare upon you [to restrain
you from the exercise of your liberties], but for that which is
comely [most favorable to you as New Creatures], and that ye may
attend upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think
[that in remaining unmarried] he behaveth himself improperly toward
his virgin [toward a female friend whom he had given reason to
expect he would marry her], if she be past the flower of her age
[so as to have lost other matrimonial opportunities through her
engagement to him], and if need so require [if she needs a protector
or supporter] let him do what he will [marry or not]; he sinneth
not; let them marry [if the necessities of the case seem so to
dictate]. Nevertheless, he that standeth fast in his heart, having
no necessity, but having power over his own will [to exercise
self-control and to live a celibate life, that he might give himself
more fully to the Lord and his service], and hath so determined
in his own heart to keep his own virgin [his own virginity or
purity] doeth well. So then he that giveth her [his virginity]
in marriage doeth well, but he that giveth her not in marriage
doeth better.
"A
wife is bound for so long a time as her husband liveth; but if
her husband be dead she is free to be married to whom she will,
only in the Lord. But she is happier if she abide as she is, after
my judgment: and I think also that I have the spirit of God [the
mind of the Lord on this subject, which I have already declared.
I am not speaking by commandment
<PAGE 512> or under direct inspiration, but
according to my conviction or judgment of the divine will.]"
`1 Cor. 7:25-40`
After
marriage is too late for one to decide for himself whether or
not he prefers to live a celibate life. The Apostle points this
out most distinctly, declaring that neither the husband has sole
control of his own body, neither the wife the sole control of
her own body; but that in marriage each has given himself to the
other in such a degree that any refusal of moderate reasonable
marital rights would amount to an injustice and violation of the
marriage contract. The Apostle speaks of such a course as "defrauding
one another." (`1 Cor. 7:5`)
The time to consider such matters is before marriage. Neither
would it be proper that either should attempt to bind the other,
nor that they should together vow a life of celibacy in the bonds
of wedlock. Moderation in this as in every other earthly matter
must be the law, the brake by which the New Nature will seek to
maintain its ascendancy over the flesh51--bringing
even the very thoughts of the heart into subjection to the Lord.
Absolute continence, however desirable it may be, the Apostle
points out, must not be enforced by either one against the other,
lest it become a snare and temptation to a violation of the marriage
obligations. He says:
"Let
the husband render unto the wife her due [what she might reasonably,
naturally and justly demand], and likewise the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power [control] over her own body, but the husband:
and likewise the husband hath not power [control] over his own
body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other except it be
by consent for a time, that ye may give yourself unto prayer;
and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
This I say by way of permission and not of commandment, for I
would that all men were even as I myself [continent and free,
practically a eunuch]...But I say unto the unmarried and to the
widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they
have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry
than to burn"--to be consumed with an uncontrollable passion
which would hinder their fellowship with the Lord and might prove
to them a snare. `1 Cor. 7:3-9`
<PAGE 513>
"Only
in the Lord"
How
reasonable, how wise are the Lord's injunctions!-- how much to
the profit of those who have an ear to hear them and who are obedient
to their counsel! That the Lord's people should marry "only
in the Lord," may at first appear a limitation, a restraint,
a bondage: but no--it is merely advice. Whoever follows the advice
will eventually find that he has been blessed thereby, and whoever
disregards the advice will generally learn the unwisdom of his
course through severe experiences later.
No
other contract or arrangement pertaining to the things of this
present life is so important as the marriage contract: yet people
of fairly well-balanced minds seem to treat it in a light and
frivolous manner. Some parents seem to consider more carefully
and with sounder judgment the matter of the purchase of a farm,
the breeding of their cattle, sheep, horses, dogs and hogs, than
they consider their share in the propagation of the human species.
Such unwisdom is difficult to account for except on the supposition
that they regard matrimony as a kind of lottery, guided by chance
instead of reason; or that they regard God as the Creator of each
individual member of the human race--failing to discern that God's
perfect work, as respected our race, was accomplished in the first
pair, to whom he gave procreative powers which have descended
to their offspring. The right view of human nature is that it
is the highest type of animal creation, and, like the rest, has
been endowed by the Creator with the power of producing each after
his own kind. From this standpoint it becomes evident at once
that God is not the direct Creator of any of the human family
now living, and that the various weaknesses and imperfections
and imbecilities under which the race suffers are not properly
chargeable to imperfection in his work, but to the fall of our
race into sin, and to the natural operations of sin--which tend
more and more downward into imperfection, degradation, death.
Even
the natural man and woman, then, should take thought carefully
respecting the question of mating, so that
<PAGE 514> they would do their part in offsetting,
so far as possible, the degrading influences affecting the race.
They should realize, for instance, the necessity for laws of consanguinity--
that the marriage of those of close blood relationship should
be avoided. Such regulations were unnecessary in the beginning,
when Adam's sons and daughters intermarried freely and without
injury, because, the race being still nearly perfect, no particular
weaknesses would be entailed upon the children; but now, since
the race has become greatly demoralized, and since not only diseases,
but also mental characteristics and traits and idiosyncrasies,
run by heredity in families, it is a part of wisdom--yea, more,
a part of duty, of justice, to the children they would bring into
being--that they should not only avoid close blood relationships,
which might intensify the mental and physical peculiarities and
idiosyncrasies, but, additionally, they should so far as possible
recognize the appropriateness of choosing a mate of different
temperament from their own. Nature seems to assist to some extent
in this matter, so that decided blondes or decided brunettes usually
and naturally prefer mates of contrary temperament.
But
while these rules, which belong to the natural man, would apply
to the New Creature, if he decided that it was wisest and in every
way best for him to marry, there is still one further admonition
of the Apostle to guide the New Creation mating according to the
flesh--he should choose "in the Lord." Then he would
be mated in spiritual matters as well as in natural. It might
be urged by some that if close relationship according to the flesh
might produce extremes in the children, so close relationship
according to the spirit might also prove injurious--be calculated
to produce eccentric children in respect to moral and religious
matters. We answer, No: that in proportion as the new mind is
received, its influence is contrary to the eccentricities of the
flesh. The Apostle declares, "We have the mind of Christ,"
"the spirit of a sound mind"--we view matters from the
standpoint of Christ. The New Creation is begotten of his Spirit,
although still imperfect according to the flesh; and is guided
<PAGE 515> by the Spirit through the Word
in the understanding of the divine mind in all matters.
True,
this new mind must exercise itself through the mortal body and
its imperfect thinking apparatus; nevertheless, although the imperfections
of the flesh may color the new mind to some extent and distort
it out of its grand and beautiful symmetry, the will is superior,
and the flesh is more or less influenced by it, shaped, molded,
guided and gradually transformed, so that whoever receives the
mind of Christ is sure to become, in the same proportion, sounder
and yet more sound in his reasonings on all the matters and interests
of life. This may not mean that he will be esteemed by the world
as wiser than before; but it does mean that he will be really
wiser, and that the world's failure to discern his increasing
wisdom will be because the world is blind, is unwise, has not
the mind of Christ, and sees things generally from a distorted
standpoint of depravity and selfishness. The wisdom we want is
that which cometh from above, which the Apostle explains will
make us more pure, more peaceable, more merciful, more kind toward
the brethren, toward the family, toward mankind in general-- yea,
and also to the brute creation. The wisdom of this world, as the
Apostle explains, is earthly, sensual, devilish. Not that all
worldly men and women are sensual and devilish, but that the general
trend of worldly wisdom is in this direction; and that mankind,
however blinded, is striving against the laws of selfishness with
which it is bound, though it may continually seek to hide the
chains of its slavery from itself as well as from others.
"In
the Lord" should be understood to mean much more than a merely
nominal belief in the Lord, much more than a mere membership in
the nominal church. Worldly people should marry worldly people;
nominal church people should marry nominal church people; mere
believers, trusting in the meritorious blood of Christ, should
marry similar companions. But those who have taken the step of
full consecration and become members of the body of Christ, of
the New Creation, begotten again, should marry only of their
<PAGE 516> own kind--only New Creatures--only
such as are "in the Lord" as accepted members
of the body of Christ, partakers of his spirit of holiness; and
additionally, as already shown, each should see to it that the
proper sex relationship be maintained. The woman should see to
it that she marry only such a man "in the Lord" as she
can look up to morally, intellectually, spiritually, as the head
of the family-- one whom she can "reverence." The man
should see to it that he marries one "in the Lord" who
would be, so far as he is able to judge, a true helpmate, pure-minded,
loving, gentle, helpful--one not his superior, to whom he would
naturally be obliged to look up and esteem as the proper head
of the family. These rules of mating should all be observed by
the New Creation, possessed of the spirit of a sound mind, however
they may be disregarded by the world, who are not guided by the
mind of the Lord but disposed to take their own way, to be guided
by their own whims or fancies, or by the mutual deception of each
other. If doubts arise, settle them on the safe side--wait until
they are solved.
It
might be argued that if marriage were considered from so particular
a standpoint, matches would be less frequent. We reply that this
may be so; but that a large proportion of those who are now married,
especially those who have by the Lord's grace come to a clearer
understanding of their relationship to the Lord as New Creatures,
and to an acquaintance with his counsel in the interests of their
spiritual development in matters pertaining to the flesh, would
not again marry as they have done--they are wiser now. With many
of the worldly the possibility, according to earthly courts and
usages, of a full divorce and of another marriage, may seem to
make them less particular, less careful in respect to mating.
But the New Creature should remember that his marriage contract
is similar to that between the Lord and the Church--perpetual;
that it is not canceled by any earthly court to such an extent
as to permit marriage to another, except upon the one cause specified.
(`Matt. 19:9`) To the Lord's people,
"in the Lord," marriage is therefore a
<PAGE 517> very weighty contract, and should
be undertaken only after prayerful, thoughtful consideration and
examination of every feature bearing upon the situation as far
as can be discerned.
The
New Creation has another protection in this matter. According
to their covenant with the Lord they have given up their own wills
and accepted instead the will of their Head, the Lord; and if
this be their attitude of mind--a sincere desire to know the will
of Christ (1) respecting whether or not they should marry at all,
and (2) respecting the Lord's choice for them, they will, after
exercising their best judgment and discretion, commit the whole
matter to the Lord and pray for his overruling of affairs according
to his wisdom, resting their hearts contentedly on whatever shall
be the subsequent leadings of divine providence--whether favorable
or contrary to that which their best judgment had approved. Thus
and not otherwise can the Lord's people be sure that they are
taking the right course. In view of the foregoing, how important
it is that the New Creation should have clearly in mind the instructions
of the Lord's Word on this subject; that they should have the
very spirit of the Truth; and that they keep continually in mind
the fact that they are New Creatures--not living as the world,
simply to enjoy the present life, simply to rear families according
to the flesh, but that their highest aim, object, endeavor, should
be to walk after the Spirit, and to follow the directions of the
Lord in all matters temporal as well as spiritual. They should
always have in view the fact that they are consecrated to the
Lord, dead with Christ as respects this world; and that their
chief aim and object henceforth should be to use the present life
and earthly vessels as sacrifices in the wisest possible way in
the interest of the New Creature and its general work of serving
and glorifying the Lord and building up itself and others of like
precious faith in spiritual graces! How important that the married
and the unmarried, and those contemplating marriage, should remember
that their all is laid upon the altar, and that their victory
and attainment of the glorious things
<PAGE 518> promised can only come through
the consuming of the sacrifice; and, hence, that all the
affairs of the present life should be ordered, so far as they
are able, in such a manner as will minister best to their own
spiritual welfare, to the welfare of the brethren and to the glory
of our Head!
He
Knows
"He knows the way I take--
What matter then if dark it be,
Or rough, or hedged about--
His staff shall comfort me.
"And should His love withhold
What seems so near, so dear, so sweet,
I'll humbly take this thing
And lay it at His feet.
"How sweet to know He knows,
And cares, and holds me by the hand--
Will safely guide until
I reach the Heavenly Land!"
THE
NEW CREATION |